


Resemblance (유사)

by IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing



Series: midnight blues and gilded hues [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, insa fic collab
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24823717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing/pseuds/IAmNotGoodatthisnamingthing
Summary: “I need to tell you something,” Hakyeon says - no, entreats - his shoulders hunching in. “And I want for you to do something for me after that.”
Relationships: Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Jaehwan | Ken
Series: midnight blues and gilded hues [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795519
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8
Collections: Insa Fic Collab





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Song Inspiration: Just For a Moment x Resemble x The Late Regret x Cactus/Saboten

Jaehwan is taking a turn around the gardens with his younger brother and two advisors when Hakyeon makes his presence known. 

“Lord Lee, could I have a word with you?” he asks, bowing respectfully to the entourage.

“Of course, Lord Cha,” Jaehwan bows back equally politely, waving for the little entourage to carry on without him.

Both Hakyeon and he watch in silence as the trio slowly stroll around the corner and disappear, before Jaehwan turns towards Hakyeon.

“What is it?” he asks in a low voice, hand automatically reaching out to grip Hakyeon’s forearm as he drops all formalities.

“Not here,” Hakyeon replies in an undertone, primly stepping back. “Follow me,” and with that, he turns away, walking deeper into the garden in the graceful way that had captivated Jaehwan’s attention from the first time they’d met. 

Jaehwan traces his steps, sidestepping brambles and ducking under low-hanging vines, as they make their way towards the lake that covers the western front of the Cha estate.

Hakyeon - Lord Cha - is the first born son and heir to Doctor Cha, one of their nation’s finest civil servants, whose estate housed some of the most brilliant medical minds within the kingdom, all drawn by the opportunity to learn from the famed Doctor. Hongbin - Jaehwan’s younger brother - had made the journey from their estate near the southern borders almost two harvests ago, and every few moons, Jaehwan - like the doting brother he was - dropped by to visit his younger brother and learn about all that Hongbin was accomplishing.

But that wasn’t the only reason Jaehwan made the almost-weeklong journey from the capital, where he was leading a brigade of soldiers in the National Guard, and honoring the legacy of his deceased father, the famed General Lee. _No, that wasn’t the only reason at all_ , Jaehwan thinks, coming to a stop a few paces from Hakyeon, when they reach the banks of the lake. 

Hakyeon turns to him with a whispered sigh, and Jaehwan even finds the sound of that beautiful. (Just another entry to the list of things about Hakyeon that fascinated him). 

“What is it?” Jaehwan asks finally, after Hakyeon spends a good few minutes avoiding his eyes without uttering a word.

“I need to tell you something,” Hakyeon says - no, entreats - his shoulders hunching in. “And I want for you to do something for me after that.”

“Anything,” Jaehwan says, reaching out to touch Hakyeon’s forearm again. Hakyeon steps back, almost flinching as he does, and Jaehwan drops his hand, studying Hakyeon’s features with an unnamed dread roiling in his guts.

“What is it?” he asks. “What has happened?”

Hakyeon averts his eyes to the ground and balls his trembling fists, a study in anguish, but Jaehwan pays it no heed, his concern and protective instincts now on full alert.

“Talk to me, Hakyeon,” he almost orders. “You have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Hakyeon says finally, shaking his head. “Nothing’s wrong, Jaehwan.”

“Then why are you flinching away from me?” Jaehwan asks, before another thought occurs to him. “Was I too demanding last night? Was I not gentle enough?” 

“No!” Hakyeon exclaims, eyes finally coming up to meet Jaehwan’s. “You were perfect. You are perfect.”

“Then what is it?” Jaehwan persists, burying his relief at Hakyeon’s words. “Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because if I do,” Hakyeon breathes out, his composure slipping. “The moment that I do, then it will all be over.”

“What will be over?” Jaehwan asks, the feeling of dread returning.

Hakyeon only shakes his head, before extending a - still trembling - hand towards Jaehwan. And Jaehwan, by now used to Hakyeon’s little gestures and mannerisms, takes the cue to entwine their fingers as he gathers Hakyeon into a hug. 

This close, he can smell the scent of persimmon and something a bit more spicy that makes up Hakyeon’s essence, can feel the warmth of Hakyeon’s body all along his front, can feel the lithe lines of Hakyeon’s body minutely trembling against him…

...and he thinks that he knows, that he finally gets it.

“Is this our goodbye?” he asks in a low voice, trying not to let out how torn up even uttering the words makes him feel.

Hakyeon bursts into tears then, droplets from his eyes soaking the lapels of Jaehwan’s garb.

“Hakyeon, look at me,” Jaehwan urges, hoping against hope that he’s wrong. Hakyeon shakes his head, arms tightening around Jaehwan.

“Darling, let me look at you if this is the last time I get to hold you so close,” Jaehwan pleads, and suddenly Hakyeon is rearing his head back, turning regretful eyes upon his lover.

_It_ , the thing between them, happened as most things do - almost serendipitously. 

When Jaehwan had first come to visit his brother, Hongbin had proudly introduced him to Instructor Cha, not the famed physician, but his equally notable son. 

There had been no sparks, just a deep-seated but still-repressed attraction coagulating in both their veins, which had made them seek each other’s company again and again, for walks through the garden and debating scriptures and companionship at formal events neither could decline attending. 

The brewing attraction had come to head almost nine moon cycles back, with a tipsy confession of mutual interest landing them in Hakyeon’s bed in the deep of the night, and writhing bodies paired with all-consuming affections compelling them into a tryst. 

If Jaehwan’s visits had become just a fraction more frequent, they had reasoned it could be attributed to the improving conditions of roads between the Capital and the Cha estate and also the close affections between the two Lee brothers. What happened behind closed doors and between subtle caresses and meaningful exchanging of gazes was for theirs to know alone.

_Or so they had thought._

“I love you,” Hakyeon says, in the present, arms rising up to cup his beloved’s handsome jaw. “I have loved you the only way I know how, Lee Jaehwan, with all my heart, and without guile. And I wish that could have been enough.”

_But it wasn’t._

The world they lived in didn’t care about love that it couldn’t understand, couldn’t accept them. Not with who they were, and what expectations they both bore as first sons and heirs to their family’s name.

“Has your father said anything?” Jaehwan asks, omitting the _about us_ which he thought was pretty self-evident.

“No,” Hakyeon shakes his head, fingers reaching out to caress Jaehwan’s eyebrows and cheekbones with a transfixed look on his face. If this was the last time he’d have this liberty, he’d make it count. “Well, not directly. His advisor made a comment,” he pauses. “And my name day is upcoming, you know.”

“So you’ll be wed,” Jaehwan whispers, hands tightening around the slope of Hakyeon’s shoulder as realization cleaves his heart in half.

Hakyeon nods, opting to lean forward in Jaehwan’s embrace again.

“Ask me to run away with you,” he says, voice muffled by Jaehwan’s robe. “Ask me to leave all this behind, and I will. If you asked, I’d set the world on fire and watch it burn.”

“But I can’t,” Jaehwan says sadly, hands imprinting the taper of Hakyeon’s waist to his memory. “I can’t, because we have duties to our families. As sons, and as heirs. I can’t do that to you.”

“I’ll never love anyone the way I’ve loved you,” Hakyeon promises, leaning up on tiptoes to flutter a kiss against Jaehwan’s eyebrow.

“And I, you,” Jaehwan returns, nosing along the line of Hakyeon’s jaw. “What was the favour you wanted of me?”

“I need you to tell me that, this,” Hakyeon gestures between the two of them. “Has to end. That we can’t be. That you won’t come to me again. That you won’t look at me again.”

“Just let me hold you for a moment longer,” Jaehwan says, struggling to remain strong even though all he wants to do is sink to his knees and just sob wretchedly. “Let me hold you before I have to resort to loving you from afar, to spend my days enduring cruel winds and the crueler destiny of growing away from you.”

Hakyeon takes a hold of his hands and clutches at them, eyes still wet with tears and filled to the brim with a love that will have to last Jaehwan for the rest of his life.

“I will love you till my dying breath. And if I can, even after,” Jaehwan says ferociously, a little savagery seeping into his tone. Hakyeon feels the tendrils of a premonition stirring in the base of his spine.

The wind picks up around them, ruffling their hair and rustling fallen leaves around their feet, but they stand wrapped in silence, sentries to a heartbreak that had screamed of inevitability from it’s first blossom. 

“Goodbye, my love,” Jaehwan says after a while, picking up Hakyeon’s hand and placing the softest of kisses on his knuckles. He takes one last, long look at him before slipping away into the gathering dusk.

Hakyeon stands by the lake until the moon turns the scenery silver and fills his heart with ice. By the time he returns to the estate, Jaehwan has bid his goodbyes to his little brother and paid his respect to the elders of the household before departing for the Capital.

By the next fortnight, Hakyeon is wed to the second daughter of Magistrate Song. 

News of Jaehwan’s passing comes five moon cycles later. He was killed in combat, honorably leading his brigade into fight against one of their nation’s fiercest rivals. 

Hongbin brings Hakyeon the news before leaving for his home, looking at him with something akin to pity. Hongbin’s face, which had only served as a reminder of all Hakyeon had held dear to his heart, then becomes almost unbearable to look at, so Hakyeon acknowledges him with a nod and slips away, walking back to the lake and staying there till dawnbreak.

Hakyeon passes away before the next moon wanes, dying of the only disease his father and his disciples had failed to find a cure for - heartbreak.


	2. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hakyeon,” Jaehwan whispers, shaking his hand, and feeling the seeds of a deep-rooted affection awaken in his heart. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You didn't think I'd end it on that note, did you?

“You’re a disaster,” Hakyeon teases, licking at the rim of his takeaway coffee cup.

“And you’re a menace,” Hongbin rolls his eyes, drying his clothes of the rainwater that he had accumulated while fetching coffees for him and Hakyeon.

“You’ll catch a cold,” Hakyeon says to his oldest friend and manager. “Find a towel or something.”

“Yes, your highness,” Hongbin rolls his eyes, consulting his watch. Hakyeon, more famously known as N, was a top model, but that wouldn’t excuse him being late to an appointment. “We’re miraculously on time for the meeting, let’s go,” he says, pressing the elevator button.

“Who are we meeting again?” Hakyeon asks, critically analysing his reflection in the elevator mirror.

“A portrait photographer, trained in Japan with extensive experience in Hollywood. He’s only come to Korea a few weeks ago, and Vogue immediately hired him for the cover shoot.”

“He must be very good,” Hakyeon muses, wondering when the shoot will be over and he’d be allowed to leave to go home and sleep.

“Only one way to find out,” Hongbin mutters in an undertone, back straightening as the elevator door opened.

Hakyeon follows him through the hallways of the high-end hotel they’d been instructed to come to, bowing to the many staff members they meet along the way as they make their way to the suite at the end of the hallway.

“Stay right there, Lee Hongbin!” A voice squeaks as soon as they enter the suite. “You are not to make puddles all around my precious clothes!”

“Hey Wonshik,” Hongbin smiles at the designer, who he had gone to school with. “Know where I can find towels?”

“Ravi! How many times must I tell you to call me Ravi,” Wonshik clucks his tongue as he grabs onto Hongbin’s wrist and drags him towards a bathroom, offhandedly mentioning that the photographer was already on-site and setting up devices. Hongbin arches an eyebrow at Hakyeon meaningfully, and he takes it as his cue to go introduce himself to the photographer.

He walks into the room, gracefully sidestepping the wires on the ground and beaming at the makeup artists on standby before coming to a standstill right behind the photographer tinkering with his lenses.

Something about him almost seems familiar, Hakyeon muses, as he spends a few more seconds studying the man. He then shakes his head, and clears his throat to attract the man’s attention.

“Ken-sshi?” Hakyeon inquires, slipping into his persona of N as the blond-haired photographer turns towards him. “Hi, I’m-,” he stops, coming to a pause upon seeing the photographer’s face. 

Hakyeon knows that he hasn’t met this man before, that if he had he wouldn’t have been able to ever forget those bright eyes, but he _knows_ that this man is familiar, that he is safe, that he is _finally_ here.

The photographer isn't faring much better, looking at Hakyeon like he's his salvation come alive.

They both spend a moment too long, drinking each other in, standing in their quiet standoff amidst the bustling set, and then Hakyeon blinks, and all the world bombards his senses again.

“I’m sorry,” Hakyeon says quietly, still in a daze. “I hope I haven’t kept you waiting for too long.” He feels a pang of sudden longing as he watches the photographer in front of him suck in an audible breath before offering him the smallest of smiles.

“I don’t mind,” the photographer - no, Ken - says, unknowingly echoing the words from another first meeting upon another time. “I’m Jaehwan.”

“Hakyeon,” he dares to say, stepping closer to the man and thrusting out a hand. H

“Hakyeon,” Jaehwan whispers, shaking his hand, and feeling the seeds of a deep-rooted affection awaken in his heart. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

Hakyeon smiles, feeling the corners of his eyes water for no apparent reason, and Jaehwan grins back, still drinking him in, still hoping against hope that the fates will favour them this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think~


End file.
